Three Cheers for Two Years!

Today marks my 2 year mark since entering the MTC.   June 12, 2013... what a day to remember.  The beginning to the rest of my life, and I had no idea what to expect or what was to come in the next 18 months.  I've reflected back often on what I learned as a missionary in Thailand.  Some things I learned early on, and some things I didn't learn until my last transfer.  Here are a couple things that I truly internalized on my mission.  I do wish I had known these things earlier, but I learned through experience, and therefore they are now part of who I am.

I learned that...

...we don't need to be afraid.  Fear is something that even today continues to influence my decisions.  Fear almost kept me from going to Thailand.  Fear almost kept me from changing my major at the time that Heavenly Father knew was opportune but I couldn't yet see it.  Fear isn't something we should live by, because that is Satan's way of keeping us from reaching our true potential.  If I had doubted instead of choosing to believe that God knows best, I would not be where I am today.  I know that sounds cheesy and generic, but it's true.  I would be kicking myself

...dedication is far more important than exact obedience and perfection.  On my mission I learned that the flesh is indeed weak, while the Spirit is strong.  I tried to be obedient, but I do admit that there were times when I sacrificed what I really wanted in the future for what I wanted in the moment.  Most of the time I really desired to be obedient, yet I always seemed to fall short.  These times when I fell short, I remembered thinking that I was a complete failure of a missionary.  I remembered wondering why Heavenly Father would keep trying with me.  Obviously, I was a "lost cause" to him, right?  Even when I resolved to be better, I still stumbled at times.  What I didn't know then, was that Heavenly Father wants us to be dedicated to His work.  He doesn't want us to be perfectionists, but rather dedicated and faithful disciples of Jesus Christ.  And what more is a disciple (or saint) than a sinner that keeps on trying?


...getting wet is okay, as long as you are dancing in the rain.  I faced many trials during my mission, as do most missionaries.  I faced some with courage, and there were times when, I admit, I murmured.  I didn't understand God's timing, and I knew I was doing everything I could, and nothing was going right. After long prayers, and meaningful scripture study, I realized that what I needed most wasn't a miracle, necessarily.  What I really needed was an attitude change.  I thought I was entitled to some great miracle, when I wasn't even being appreciative of what God was already giving me.  You can't curse the rain, then be thankful for the rainbow.  To this day, I remember to be thankful in my trials, in the slow times, and in my darkest times, because I know that with each set-back, the rainbow to come only gets more beautiful.

...faith is trusting in God and in His timing.  This revelation came during one of the hardest parts of my second transfer, and it carried me through my entire mission, and still remains one of the most parts of my testimony.  I know that we always hear "Faith brings miracles" or "You can be healed if you have faith".  So...what happens when you don't receive the miracle or the healing?  Does that mean you are faithless?  No.  It only means that you need to exercise your faith by trusting God more than you ever have before.  Waiting upon the Lord is not as simple as it may seem; however, being patient does get easier with time.  Just because you don't see the outward manifestation of your faith, does not mean that God doesn't see you unfit or unworthy. Timing is everything, and with our mortal minds, we are incapable of understanding what God understands.  His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are His ways our ways.  His way is better, and trusting and being patient are the best measures of your faith yet.

...sacrificing your mental, emotional, and physical health will not make you any better of a missionary. Taking the day off because you can hardly walk is acceptable.  Don't be afraid to let others see you be weak.  Being a missionary requires you to lose yourself in the service of God.  However, you will not be an effective servant if you are miserable the entire time.  Take time to unwind, and don't get bent out of shape when things don't go as perfectly as you imagined them to.  You're human.  Acknowledge that sometimes you will get sick, and sometimes you will be sad.  It's okay. Take a step back, let yourself heal, and then go forth with renewed strength.

...God called me to be ME, not my district leader, trainer, sister training leader, AP, or mission president.  He doesn't have a cookie-cutter standard for missionaries. People work differently, and we all have individual strengths.  If you have an impression that others think is ridiculous, all the better reason to go for it.  God knows you perfectly.  He knows you better than any leader, mission president, or companion ever will.  Therefore, He will give you opportunities for you to thrive, and also opportunities where you may not do as well.  Regardless of the turnout, God prepared that experience just for you so that you can more fully be the person He wants you to be.  I wish I hadn't wasted some of my precious time trying to make others happy instead of pleasing my Heavenly Father.  It doesn't matter what other people see or think, because we know that God sees and recognizes all our good works, and that is sufficient.

...I didn't realize how much I would miss my days as a missionary.  Honestly, there were some days that I wished were over as soon as the alarm clock went off.  There weren't many of these days, but I'm sure there times I could have lived with more gratitude in my heart.  What I wouldn't give to go back to even the hardest of days, just to feel like I did then.  I know now that each day is precious, and I won't waste my time waiting for tomorrow, because I can make and see miracles happen today.


Even though I was tried and tested beyond what I imagined, I wouldn't trade those 18 months in Thailand for anything.  I came to know my Heavenly Father and my Savior more than I ever thought I could.  I felt close to Heaven, and I saw miracles.  I sweat a lot, cried some, and praised God through it all.  No, I wasn't perfect, but I know that I did what God asked me to.  I did it because I love Him and my Savior Jesus Christ, and little did I know that I would be blessed this immensely.  I have a new family, new friends, and a greater ties to my Heavenly home.  I know that I was stubborn at times, and that it wasn't always easy, but I will never doubt that it was worth it.  Even though I didn't know these things when I started, I knew them by the time I finished, and they continue to carry me through each day.  Never doubt that God loves you and is aware of you.  He knows your needs, even before you ask for help.  I know He loves me, and that Jesus Christ died for me.  I know that He lives today, and stands at the head of this true church.  What great joy I had being His representative in Thailand, and I owe it all to Him.